Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Drained...on fumes...totally gassed

This week has been filled with surprises. I woke up on Monday morning (the Monday after chemo weekend) and didn't feel like death. In fact I didn't feel too bad at all. There were spots where I didn't do too good. But in general I didn't fare too badly. I even ventured out and purchased two pairs of pants (because nothing fits my shrinking body anymore).  And then Tuesday I put in almost a full day working from home. Score!  I felt so good that I challenged myself to get up before the sun and actually drive myself to work. Now...this has been a goal for some time, but hasn't come to fruition since my treatments started. Well I did it. So there. Go me. :)

Today was a blur. I got to work at 7:00 and figured that anything else was icing on the cake. I mean, I just pulled off a feat 3 months in the making. I got my butt out of bed at 5 am, gathered all the necessary accoutrement and drove a motor vehicle, by myself, and parked in the parking lot on base...without killing anyone, including me!  Level up accomplished. Now I just had the rest of the day ahead. 

Ever since my treatments started, I've been half time onsite at work. My boss and my team have been wonderful with accommodating my schedule, as unpredictable and sporadic as it may be. The other half of the time, I either work from home or take sick time and sleep, or moan, or throw up. You know...standard cancer stuff. So today, being the epic accomplishment of just-showing-up day, I figured that I would fade around 10:30 and go home to sleep it off. I'm glad I brought my 1:30 injection and 2:00 pain pill just in case (I was briefly a boyscout in my youth). 

I started making real progress on this project that I'm on, I mean tangible, people-can-see-this kind of progress and I didn't really keep track of time or want to stop. After hitting a light snack at 10:00 and doing some bicep curls and forearm exercises with bands, I put my head down. By 12:30 I knew I had messed up. I couldn't walk straight, much less drive a car 25 miles home. So I did what anyone would do...I looked in the snack bar fridge for some quick calories to get me home. A Red Barron personal pizza did the trick.  Although it was far from the taste experience I remember from college. Yuck. 

I surfed the Internet for 30 minutes while I waited for the boost. While I was doing that I made another breakthrough on my project...I thought. But how to proof it out?  I mean, as soon as I can stand I'm walking out the door to get in my car and drive home. Or am I?  Tami is a saint and packed me a snack bag to keep in my drawer at work. It has peaches in it.  Peaches in heavy syrup. To the snack drawer!  One cup of peaches later and it's time for a pain pill and my injection. After tackling both of those and recomposing myself I hit the hallway for politicking and theory validation.

I ended up volunteering to be a champion for another team's cause because it just makes sense and they need a voice on my team.  Then off to the computers to prove that I've cleared this latest technical hurdle. Just 90 minutes later and I have. We have yet another vital component to continuing our project. My cape was flapping in the wind triumphantly. :)

So now it's 3:30. 5 hours after I anticipated being gone, and coincidentally, the end of my regular work day. Holy crap!  After 3 months of grinding out half days and patching together telecommuting time, I spent and entire day work...and was productive for almost all of that time?!?!?!  You could've pushed me over with your pinky. No really...I was feeling the hurt by then. It was time to go. Just grab a Vitamine Water for some up-and-at'em and head out the door. But I had to get my pants from the seamstress. Shoot. Well...I haven't stopped yet so why stop now?  

So I head across town to grab my pants. But there's a Sprouts next door and I don't think we have anything planned for dinner. Plus I need some ingredients for my new ice cream maker. Don't get all excited was flaxseed oil and cottage cheese. Yeah...I'm sure there will be a blog about that experience. I rummage around Sprouts to the tune of $50 and finally get in the car to head home. I navigate pre rush hour traffic easily, still riding my I-can't-believe-I'm-still-going high, and then...just two miles from home, I hit the wall.  Or the wall hit me. Either way, I'm glad that I could at least point in the direction of my house so the car would know where to drop me off. 

I stumbled in the door and doggedly made the dinner that I had planned. (Veggie hotdogs and veggie chicken nuggets with salads...the salads were good....)  After dinner it was clear. I would be a worthless lump for the rest of the evening. I managed to brush Myah's hair, but that is the sum total of my accomplishments after 6:30.  At this point in the evening I don't know what tomorrow holds.  I may not be able to get out of bed or lift my arms or even speak.  But today was magnificent. I hope that I can repeat half of what I did today tomorrow.  Tami says that she will have no sympathy if I can't move in the morning. (I don't believe her though)

Apparently I'm into the string-words-together-to-emphasize-something style tonight. Sorry about that. I'm talking pretty slurry too so I guess it makes sense. 

The next time you feel like you can't do something...try it. You might be surprised by what you can accomplish. 

I'm off to save a train full of orphans speeding towards a washed out bridge. Have a great night!


1 comment:

  1. How can no one have commented on this? Well done, Jake.